[2005-05-04] - [3:46 p.m.]
[two down, two to go! *celebrates*]
[The previous entry was just song lyrics that mean a lot to me, so here's my proper entry for today...
Well, math SAT's. I hate math, I HATE MATH! Truly, it sucked so much. I didn't understand a word of it, I'll be lucky if I end up with a level six. Maybe I'll get a level seven; I'd be over the moon if I got a level seven. The mental math test was okay, mental math is really easy anyway.
I went to see Miss S at lunch with Sarah, Chaz, Carole, Leanne & Katie. & there was Alex, this boy too but he don't really count. Anyways, we went to see her for an extra revision class thingey. It was okay actually, I now get most of it. Maybe I just need a bit more confidence my own ability, I think I understand it all now. Just need to not panic. I will so panic. All I had in my head was Miss S with blood in her hair, with her head split open (long story) & Shakespeare, Macbeth, Number six! :o *cries* Now everyone knows about the whole number six deal, they was a bit slow on the uptake! Took them like two days to work it out! *rolls eyes* But now everyone knows.
Have I posted my Day Dreamer story in here? Good, thought not. I must have only posted it in my livejournal, which I haven't updated in aaages! :o Shockiiiiing. Moooving on...
We have our English exams tomorrow, reading & Shakespeare. I should do okay on the reading cause we worked on it for ages a while back & I'm okay with the Shakespeare stuff now. I can do this, I can.
I'm not sure if S reads this diary, although I doubt it because:
a) they don't strike me as the kind of person who would have a diary on here.
b) I haven't given them the address.
c) they wouldn't know it was me anyway, so I can write what I want, right?
And even if they do read it, even if they know it's me, they have no idea I'm writing about them. *nods* :)
You make my heart do flips, you make me feel as though I'm on a rollercoaster, you make my day so bright, yet there's something wrong... I live to see you, where ever I go you seem to follow; I cannot go a day without seeing you. I need the happiness you appear to bring to my life; I would trust you with anything but I don't because there's something wrong...
It's not love, it can't be love, it won't be love. Love is more, love is special. I know love. Love is the cause of so many deaths, love the cause of so many broken hearts. I suppose it makes so happy, but unrequited love never made anyone happy. That's why it can't be love, what I feel, what I crave. I need to get over you, I need you to walk out of my life but I need you in my life. I don't know if things would be the same if you weren't there, just as a reminder. You have no idea, you live happily in a care-free world. You don't know anything about me. That's how it always has to be, always has been. In September you will be gone, a mere face passing by, I cannot hope for more. I shall never again see you, & I will get over you. I promise, life will go on just as it did before. I will not let you ruin this perfect lie I have built, I will not let you into my reality.
A x]
The Girl: -
Aimz; Fourteen; Crazy; Odd; Sarcastic; Brown Hair; Blue Eyes; Short; Skinny; Accident prone; Clever; Romantic deep down; Paranoid.
Loves: -
Three Days Grace; Simple Plan; Horror Films; Love Films; Any other films; Avril Lavigne; Kelly Clarkson; Green Day; Friends; Mobiles; MSN; The Internet; 'Casualty'; 'Holby City'; Photos.
Hates: -
Most manufactured bands; People who don't try to understand; People who are two-faced; Smoking; Cancer; Getting the blame; Having no money; Rain ruining my eyeliner; Families.