[2005-03-17] - [6:58 p.m.]
[normal]
[You think she's normal? You think she's just going through being a teenager... You are so wrong. She closes her eyes, and all she can see are flashbacks. She has huge gaps in her memory; from the times she probably doesn't want to remember. She tries to remember, but she doesn't have memories anymore. Just flashbacks...always flashbacks. Everytime she shuts her eyes, if only to blink, she can see them. The gaps, they start with a bathroom cabinet & end with her holding a razor. No idea what she's done, if anything. Cuts cover her arms, and she lies so fluently about them now. Making up stories that even they believe, never questioning her lies. Some days she wishes they would question them, and she would be forced to tell the truth. But then she realises that she can't tell the truth. She is going slowly mad; talking to herself 24/7 and seeing things. Things that can't possibly be real. Like when they told her to lay on the floor and breathe in deeply; think of beaches. All she could see was razors and blood; all she ever sees. When she goes to bed at night she cries until she's too tired to keep her eyes open and then she sees it again and again; like a film on constant playback. Her life is a film on constant playback...she's living in a dream world. No longer knows what is fiction and what is reality. Imagining isn't hard anymore, she imagines her whole life all the time anyway. She has conversations in her head all the time, tallking to people about things they'll never know. Now tell her she's normal; now tell her she'll be ok.
]
The Girl: -
Aimz; Fourteen; Crazy; Odd; Sarcastic; Brown Hair; Blue Eyes; Short; Skinny; Accident prone; Clever; Romantic deep down; Paranoid.
Loves: -
Three Days Grace; Simple Plan; Horror Films; Love Films; Any other films; Avril Lavigne; Kelly Clarkson; Green Day; Friends; Mobiles; MSN; The Internet; 'Casualty'; 'Holby City'; Photos.
Hates: -
Most manufactured bands; People who don't try to understand; People who are two-faced; Smoking; Cancer; Getting the blame; Having no money; Rain ruining my eyeliner; Families.