[2005-06-14] - [10:52 p.m.]
[looking back]
[Been looking back at some old entries in my normal diary; the one that only I read. The entries aren't that old, the only date back to about October/November last year, but it seems so long ago. Some of the entries made me laugh or smile; some made me cry. Well, not cry since the wonderful Aimz doesn't really do emotion or whatever. Apparently, nobody at school has ever seen me cry. Well, I'm hardly gonna just burst into tears in the middle of a lesson, am I? Do I look that stupid to you? But then again, I haven't seen a lot of my friends at school cry. I guess people don't really cry at school. Either that, or we're all totally emotionless.
Anyway, the entries were so varied. You know, one day it would be so happy & I'd just waffle about what I did & other days it was just rants. Some days just had one single line, but that was enough to describe the whole day. Shit ususally summed up most of those days. There's one entry, on my birthday, that was so sweet. It had been an awful week & my birthday was the first day back at school & it snowed! And that was all it took for me to be happy again, just a few snowflakes. And then I got home & mom & Ellie had done all these balloons saying 'Happy 14th Birthday' and stuff on them & all of a sudden everything seemed so great. Maybe it really is the little things that count.
I got an email once & it probably wasn't true since it was junk email, but I read it anyway. I'll alter the story slightly, but the end results will still be the same.
One day, there was a girl walking home from school. Amber, her name was. On the other side of the road, she saw another girl walking home. This other girl was tall, a little lanky & carrying all her books. Amber watched as a group of girls pushed & teased this other girl. She would never normally have hung around with someone who looked so 'boffiny' but she crossed over, helped the girl up & walked home with her. The girl's name was Rose. Amber discovered that Rose was actually really funny & sweet & the two soon became best friends. Rose became the most popular girl in the school & was Head Girl in year eleven. On the very last day there was an assembly. Rose got up to say a few words & this is what she said:
'I want to thank Amber today. Without Amber, I wouldn't be stood here now, talking to you all.'
Rose told of the day that Amber had talked to her & helped her home. She had been planning to kill herself when she got home, & had cleared out her locker so her mom wouldn't have to do it. The audience were hooked. Here was the most popular girl in the school telling them all this; they were amazed. They had never thought Rose would ever do something like that.
'So you see,' she finished, with tears in her eyes. 'If Amber hadn't stopped that day & been so kind to me, I wouldn't have told you all that & I wouldn't have found how good life could be. Thank you Amber.'
I think that sorta summarises the whole 'little things matter' kinda thing. I'm not saying that if you're planning to top yourself that if someone helps you in the street, you won't wanna die anymore, but it happens. I'm really not sure how I got from snowy birthdays to this, but does it matter. And I only have *counts* 25(?) days til year nine ends. The end of the shit? I doubt it. Friends suck a lot sometimes. A lot of the time.
A x]
The Girl: -
Aimz; Fourteen; Crazy; Odd; Sarcastic; Brown Hair; Blue Eyes; Short; Skinny; Accident prone; Clever; Romantic deep down; Paranoid.
Loves: -
Three Days Grace; Simple Plan; Horror Films; Love Films; Any other films; Avril Lavigne; Kelly Clarkson; Green Day; Friends; Mobiles; MSN; The Internet; 'Casualty'; 'Holby City'; Photos.
Hates: -
Most manufactured bands; People who don't try to understand; People who are two-faced; Smoking; Cancer; Getting the blame; Having no money; Rain ruining my eyeliner; Families.