[2005-04-30] - [1:52 p.m.]
[mwah ha ha, three hours sleep & still looking good!]
[Hehe. I had like three hours sleep last night..or this morning. Whatever. I was up at 5:00 eating biscuits with my little KatKit, Whiskey, in the kitchen because I just one of those urges to eaaaat! I was starved! & I have a nice obsession with angels, I want angel pictures to put on my website! :) My desktop is now a nice angel, that's cool I suppose. Maybe I'll show my website to Carole in IT next Friday, if we even have IT! I don't actually know if we have SAT's or not. *shrugs* & I've started a new Casualty fan fic because the other's weren't going anywhere.
Surrender
Prologue
I can’t pretend anymore,
That I’m not affected, I’m not moved.
She tried so hard, tried so hard to forget him. He had left, walked out & left her with a whole the size of Australia in her heart. She knew she should hate him, hate his guts for the way he tore her apart, but still she loved him. Still she wanted him back, wanted to hold him tight, to hear him say he loved her. She allowed the tears to fall, allowed the grief and despair to overcome her, suck her into an abyss of nothing. Nothing mattered in her world; she just so needed him back. She told herself he was nothing; that she had so much more to live for in her life, but she didn’t. Without him, she was nothing. She forced herself the pretend she was okay, at times, she even believed it herself but it was never real. It was like her very own soap drama, each twist & turn of her life was just a script written by her, it was all fake. All who knew her thought she was so brave, picking herself up and moving on, living for their sakes, not her own. But if they had known, known the reality that was her life, then they would have seen the mess surrounding her, the desolation that she felt all the time. If only they had seen her at night, sobbing herself quietly to sleep, her mind tormented by images of him leaving her, screaming at him to come back, then falling into dreams of their perfect life, shattered each time at the end as that fateful day replayed itself again and again, never leaving her alone for a moment. Please don’t leave me, she would wake up & whimper & then realise he was gone; it was only a dream.
But now, now the reality came seeping into her life, every corner she turned, he was waiting for her, watching her all the time. Wherever she went, he would be there; he would never leave her life, not now. She was in control no longer, she was so in love, she couldn’t pretend anymore…
I know it's short, but any good so far?
A x]
The Girl: -
Aimz; Fourteen; Crazy; Odd; Sarcastic; Brown Hair; Blue Eyes; Short; Skinny; Accident prone; Clever; Romantic deep down; Paranoid.
Loves: -
Three Days Grace; Simple Plan; Horror Films; Love Films; Any other films; Avril Lavigne; Kelly Clarkson; Green Day; Friends; Mobiles; MSN; The Internet; 'Casualty'; 'Holby City'; Photos.
Hates: -
Most manufactured bands; People who don't try to understand; People who are two-faced; Smoking; Cancer; Getting the blame; Having no money; Rain ruining my eyeliner; Families.